Oh, Baby...

I wish I was stronger baby, not to run away and hide, to keep things going in a nice and peaceful way. But I couldn't. Couldn't deny myself the right to think there was better out there than the shadow of a former love story, good enough for pre-pubescient girls, who had turned sour after the smoke of the initial sparkles dissipated.

I know baby you could ask for better yourself, better than me dragging your life into chaos, marching into the unknown with a feminist banner held high. You might say you frankly don't care about my ideals and Look! how sadly this story ends mummy.

But you know baby, I was dying in there, foreseeing a dark cloud of ashes turning all our little joys into despair and I didn't want that to be the end of our happiness. I love you baby and you will grow to discover that relationships are neither easy nor perfect, they bring upset, hurt and doubts but each step of this journey is a beautiful discovering of oneself and others which in itself makes us the way we are and I hope you'll understand that I will be a much better mum even if I am half as perfect as I once thought I was.